x'mas service is in 2 days time excluding today, and as we count down each day, the burden gets heavier.. and heavier.... and hheaviierrr... feeling as if carrying probably 10bags of stones while climbing up a trecherous mountain. the people whom im most burdened for apparently cant make it for service :(
every min and every hour now is very precious.
Lord, i need faith. i need strength. how strong i am, is how fast i pick up when i fall. sometimes i just wonder how strong i am.. Lord, You are my strength and the portion of my heart. i wanna see that hope. there's nothing more i can ask for now, than to see your hand move mightily inside of me. there's nothing more i can ask for now, than for you to take all of me. use all of me. my life is yours. each time i thought i could believe, however when disappointments struck, that faith dipped so deep into the core of the earth, i cant even dig it out again. i cant even find it.
it's christmas season, but the burden is overweighing the excitement by a thousand pounds. i wonder where did all the excitement go? im far from my target. far. very far. i guess that's why. i can assuredly say that im trying extremely hard to reach it. so hard i cant even explain, and i know everyone else is. but sometimes its just so hard to face the results of it all. 'do your best and God will do the rest'. so where did the rest go to..
arrrhhh.
ive never felt so weak in my faith before! eacch night i come before the Lord, crying out to Him for the salvation of all the friends, crying out to Him to use me to the last bit, crying out for the faith that i need. i wonder if my faith even amount to the size of a mustard seed.
i just wonder whether everyone ha
s accidentally dropped their handphones from 10 stories above. how timely, so many cant be contacted.
PICK UP YOUR PHONES!!!!
(5:46:00 PM)
