my voice as hoarse and coarse as sandpaper (i think i sound like some macho guy now), while my nose is blocked and runny at the same time. but God is My Healer, and this Easter season i cant afford to fall sick! praise God for 8!=DDD (which i initially only aimed for 7 at the start of it all) and now im going for 18. God indeed is faithful, and he amplifies the efforts we put in when we step out in boldness and courage! now i think it's time for me to streeeetttccchhh my faith, so much more. i need to start believing for greater things, because God did tell me once that how much i believe for is how much i will get. and if i do not have faith in Him for the greater things, i'm limiting His Holy Spirit. i need to get over the stage of fearing disappointment. i need to get over the stage of 'playing safe' and hoping for the little. i know i will, and i AM.
an overwhelming feeling of disappointment flooded my heart as the cast for College Play was announced ytd. 3 of us - sarah, tanvi and i, were shortlisted out of the maaaaannyy who went for auditions from Raffle's Players, to act for "Come and Go"- samuel beckett's play. i was pretty shocked that i got shortlisted, cos i thought that there were seriously a million people who had better acting skills ,diction and a whole lot more experience than i do. (Thank God!) furthermore, the 2 angmoh directors said that the standards for this time's audition was so high, they had so much trouble choosing the cast. so Mr something (i cant rmb his name), but anyw the ang moh director for College play, told the 3 of us who were shortlisted for 'come and go', that "you girls did a fantastic and excellent job at the auditions! but now its all down to height/size" he needed one small girl- so there. sarah was in. and he needed a tall one- tanvi got it. my heart just sank 10foot deep into the ground, as i heard the announcement of the cast.
i pray there would be more opportunities to perform on stage, but one thing i know, i've got to wait another year for the next College Play. it's a long time.
something that rang in my heart- to praise God IN everything.
joy is different from happiness, because happiness is the feeling u get because of something which happen to you. joy is smthg to have in you because you have God with you, regardless of any situation. the
discipline of celebration. so i tried that. i was praising God despite the huge disappointment, and it works. try it. =D and counting the blessings indeed work. like wat mark conner said, why would someone want to watch a bad movie again? they would rather replay and watch a good movie worth watching. so do not replay and rewatch those 'bad movies' in our lives. count our blessings =D
praise the Lord for such a strong conviction to change and once and for all lead life straight, in His light, in His love, in His joy, in His peace, and in the Holy Spirit. especially in the area of my family. as gid said that this is the area in my heart that is hardened. this is the area that is stopping me from fully experiencing God, and coming before Him with an open heart. this area of family is a knot that is tying me and holding me back from a spiritual breakthrough. family,is the most important aspect of my life, besides God.
the sermon on how to mature as a christian by mark conner, on sunday, impacted me like no other sermons. it's time to lay the foundations right again. no words can explain this sudden desire to want to change to be more like Him, and as i do, i am getting closer to God each day. this intimacy with Him, deep within my heart and spirit is birth. the happiness i enjoy, when i know im doing something to please God, and to be more like Him.
as i step out and set out in faith to do His Word, and to reconcile with my parents and siblings, God's power is released, and i can feel Him helping me like never before. a love, a tolerance for them, which i never really had. an intimacy with God, which i've always desired.
all these im doing, because i love God. i want more of His Holy SPirit every single day, and i know that working out this area of my life (my stumbling block of a decade) will grant me just that. i want to be so close to God. so close to Him-this desire, above all else. i pray things at home will PERMANENTLY get better.
i'll soar, when this stumbling block is removed, because it feels like me, caged up in this small tinywheeny bird cage. once the gate is open, i'll be free. my heart will be so opened, my life and character will be moulded, and i can run into the arms of Jesus once again and experience Him.
you can be busy, but busy is not hurrying. ruthlessly exterminate hurrying
love beyond all reason
(12:37:00 PM)
